“There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.”
Perfectionist, I am not.
And never have I been. Somewhere in my core I am missing that kernel of purist idea. My yardstick measures increments of good enough. My benchmarks are slapdash. “C’est la vie” is a favored mantra. I lean toward old and weathered over new and shiny.
Retrospection reminds me that at times I have tried to change this. Renewed pledges of effort and a changed determination that I might swim faster, study harder, parent better, love stronger and be more perfect were usually short-lived. My intentions were always thwarted, my coaches, parents, teachers, children and lovers were often bothered. How could I fail yet again?
I concede at last. The accumulation of years has added age spots and crinkles around my eye but has lessened my need to please. I have tired of feigning to be what I am not. I am perfecting the art of imperfection and find it easier to ignore things that used to worry me, like my blasted weaknesses and what I will cook for dinner this evening. I am like a wabi-sabi convert, happy to find redemption in that ancient Japanese point of view that values the beauty of all things imperfect.
Personal limitations are not unlike the patina of an old copper kettle, or the gnarled wood of a used up cabin, the wrinkles of an aging parent, the graying of a woman’s beautiful hair or the place on the hardwood floor bleached by time and sun. They tell of flawed loveliness, raw beauty and an admiration for the nicks and scratches and bruises that come with time. They are indisputably honest.
Cracks and chinks give depth to an otherwise perfect veneer and are as matter of fact as change. They are not a sign of giving up, nor do they show lack of effort or shortness of discipline or need of talent. They are simply real.
Could it be that those who seem to have no faults are simply less perfect in their imperfection?
I am honored that my post “Twenty Push-Ups” is featured on Sonia Marsh’s Gutsy Living blog this week. Sonia is running a fabulous “My Gutsy Story Contest” that features writers who tell about situations that have changed their life or altered the way they think about things or circumstances that have sent their life in a different direction.
Check it out here: http://soniamarsh.com/blog